Winter's Lake
by Lady Phoenix Fire Rose
Summary: Sometimes no matter how hard it is, it is better for you to be alone. Sometimes all you want is to give one last goodbye, but nothing is ever so simple.


_A/N: Hi! Some people were asking me about Alex from The Lake in the Winter so I decided to write a side story to it. This is completely from Alex's POV. It would probably be best if you read that first, but this can stand alone._

_This is also being entered into round two of the Genre Competition.  
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_I would like to thank Stephanie O for betaing this for me.  
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_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but Alex is all mine.  
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_**Winter's Lake**_

Alex had spent most of her life alone. She had never been one to care for company, most people preferred to avoid her anyway. Being born half blind tended to make people stare and point at you, when it causes your eyes to not match.

Even her father hadn't cared for her. Hating her since she was born, merely because she could only see with one eye. He thought her to be a freak beyond freaks. Spending most of his time drunk, he was never good for anything. Then had gone and gotten himself killed in an accident, when she was five.

Two years later, her mother remarried. Her step-father was a very kind man. He had taken them traveling all over. He and her mother were the only ones who had ever truly cared for her. They had even home-schooled her, so that she wouldn't have to deal with all of the other students poking fun at her.

She knew that they would be the only people who would ever understand her and care for her she didn't mind. They might not like her decisions but they supported her. They could never truly understand what it is like for her, but they understood that and accepted it.

There was no one alive in the world that would really understand. People like her were born to be alone. It was the burden they had to bear. This was something that she had understood deep down inside her for her whole life. It didn't stop the pain though, not when her mother died, having been sick for so long. The worst part of it was that she knew what she had to do, so she did it no matter how terrible it was.

She would stare into the mirror each morning, hating herself. She hated that she had to do some of the things that she did. She hated that she couldn't do things that she was so desperate to do. She hated her eye and her scar, what they stood for, what they reminded her of, why she had them. She hated that she couldn't change herself. Most of all she hated that she hated herself.

One thing that she did that she would never hate or regret that she had to do, was when she helped the young orphan boy named Harry Potter. She knew that she would meet him that day, that's why she was there. She was waiting for him. He didn't know it and he never would. She didn't know what it was that she needed to do until she saw him for the first time.

Standing there shivering from the cold, wearing such thin and ragged clothes. He looked positively terrified. So small, so young, so innocent. Innocence that she could tell would not last as long as it should.

Looking at him, she didn't need to know who he was, what he had done, to know that he was destined for great things. He had terrible future ahead of him, but he wouldn't be alone. She would help him as much as she could. Then there would be others. Others that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Her involvement his life would only be temporary, but would have a lasting effect.

When the full extent of what she had to do to help hit her, was when his uncle opened the door to their hotel room for the first time. He disgusted her. Not only that, he reminded her of her horrid father; treating Harry how her father had treated her before his death. At least he wasn't a drunk, but that did nothing to remove her disgust.

He needed to learn a lesson, and a lesson she did teach him. He didn't take it to heart as much as she would have liked, but fighting human nature would always be an uphill battle on a very steep hill. Harry's living arrangements improved as much as she could make them.

There were many reasons that she chose to visit Harry as often as she did. Keeping an eye on him was one of the major ones. She needed to make sure that his home life did not deteriorate, and she knew being close at hand would scare Vernon too much to let it happen. Moreover, she wanted to make sure that he was learning everything he would need to, and if not, push him in the right direction. The last of the most important reasons was that no matter how much she didn't mind being alone, it was difficult to have to deal with constantly. The visits gave her enough of an illusion of not being alone, even if they wouldn't last forever.

When Harry first asked her to join the war, and help them, she knew that their time together was coming to a swift end. She would miss the visits and being with Harry, whom she had always been fond of. She wished that she could have let Harry see her as different person, as someone he could be friends with, but it was not meant to be. She was destined to be alone, and if Harry didn't care for her he wouldn't be hurt when she had to leave.

All of these thoughts passed through her mind as she stood hidden in a corner of the cafe, watching Harry and his fiancée. She knew that she shouldn't, but she wanted one last goodbye. A last goodbye, something that she was never able to give to the others she cared for; she being away when her mother died, and not having spoken to her stepfather since then.

She felt a pang of loss go through her as she saw the complete love that the two had for each other. She knew that she would never find love like that. It hurt, but it was what was needed.

She pushed herself from the wall she had been leaning against, and made her way to the couple to say her final goodbye. A final goodbye that's not even goodbye.

_**-The End!-**_


End file.
